Like watching grass grow.

November 26, 2010 Comments Off on Like watching grass grow.

It’s weird to be home with my brothers again. We grew up together but then, as we each started to evolve lives of our own, we separated and to some extent lost track of each other. In the meantime, we kept growing up. So now I come “home”—which means the house in Duluth with Mom and Dad; the cat, dog, and bird; and Alex (age 16), Derek (age 13), and Nick (age 6)—only to find that the house has been remodeled, the dog is dead, and everyone has continued to grow up in my absence. Upon coming home, then, I am presented with an adult, an almost-adult, and a preteen who I always think I know until I start talking to them. Everyone has changed friends and musical instruments, and is taking different classes, and without fail someone has had a major life event that no one, in the end, got around to communicating to me.

For a few years more, then, I think, visits home will consist of racing to catch up on my brothers’ lives and trying to get a handle on their current ephemeral version of themselves before I miss out on another six months of their lives and need another update. I feel pretty stable right now—I think I’ve finally hit the point where I’m changing gradually the way adults do, and I’ve turned into someone I mostly like and am mostly proud of—and Alex is right about there, too. But Derek has a few more years of change ahead, and Nick hasn’t even hit puberty.

When the people around you grow up, it happens too slowly to notice, until suddenly they’re taller than you and you have to take them down a notch. (My authority remains supreme.) Every once in a while I won’t know who answered the phone because Nick’s voice has dropped a couple Hertz. Every once in a while Derek will say something that sounds like an adult thought it. I guess I should get used to it. It’s interesting to have to get to know entirely different people, both now and for the next several years; ten years from today, I might have some awesome brothers, but I don’t know them yet. It’s weird that they’ll get to know final-me first.

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