June 24, 2011 Comments Off on Shallow Dreams
Sometimes when I have a temperature I get fever dreams. The most famous incarnation was me trying to get ready to drag race: I was sitting in the car, the mechanics would wheel me out to the track, and then my car wouldn’t start, and they’d wheel me back into the garage to work on it for five minutes, then wheel me back out to the track. Fever dreams are maybe the worst small banes that I have ever experienced. And now, apparently, they have decided to happen anytime I am asleep and too warm.
Last night I realized that I’d been dreaming for what felt like hours about going to the same three businesses and looking for a job, but each time I got in the door I realized that I’d left the wrong thing at the place before, or had forgotten my resume, or something, and I had to go back and forth trying to get all the right stuff to the right places. (Guess what I’ve been thinking about recently.) So I managed to wake myself up and realized I was roasting and Simon was blocking the breeze from the fan, and if I closed my eyes and tried to go back to sleep the shallow dreams came straight back, like they were stalking me. Fortunately all I had to do was go turn on the AC, and the shallow dreams went away.
What makes shallow dreams so terrible is precisely their shallowness. It’s like standing ankle-deep in warm bathwater with a chilly wind blowing past you; all you want to do is sink into the water, but you can’t get deep enough in it. And in the meantime, you’re fretting yourself sick because something keeps going wrong in the dream. Shallow dreams make for restless, unsatisfying, stressful sleep—I’d rather just be up all night. At least that way you might get something done.