Inappropriate Elimination

July 28, 2011 Comments Off on Inappropriate Elimination

The lease on our new apartment starts on Monday. Understandably, I have been packing. But YT is not okay with this, and she has taken to registering her displeasure on the carpet.

Which has led me to the conclusion that I’m not actually a cat person. I like cats a lot, but not to the point of being able to laugh off the smell of cat urine. This is actually making me hate her. I can’t wait to move her so I can clean up all her nastiness, and in the new place, by god she’d better toe the line, or I’m turning her into a hat.

The Internet informs me that the correct term is “inappropriate elimination,” which I would like if it didn’t mean something I was so upset about. The Internet says I should shut her in a little room with all her stuff to separate her from all the stressful activity, but I’m not sure I really want her litter box in my bedroom (plus, what if she goes on the bed? I might actually kill her), and there aren’t any other options in this apartment—too small.

And of course Simon, whose &*#! cat this is, is conveniently away: not only does he not have to deal with the literal fallout from his cat, but he doesn’t even have to help me move. Instead he gets to take leisurely bike rides down Ipanema, taking occasional breaks for coconut water. Not that I’m bitter.

I really don’t know what to do except pray that next week comes and goes quickly, and that YT magically decides to behave herself in the new apartment. Otherwise, I might just have a few new fur accessories come winter.

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